Being a woman of the world, I’ve encountered quite a few strange fetishes in my life. However, my brother Mikey and his hopelessly blond girlfriend recently got into coprophagia. I’m a pretty open-minded gal, but I draw the line when I have to kiss the face that . . . well, you know. Alas, pointing out the bizarre and repugnant nature of his behavior has done little to change my lost sibling’s ways. After reading a column on your site that referenced how food-service workers’ not washing their hands after going to the bathroom could promote the spread of disease, I started to wonder just how dangerous coprophagia is. What are the risks? Beyond disease, what could go wrong? –Mistress Anastasia in San Francisco
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You discuss kinky sex practices with your brother? Man, family dinner at your house must be a trip. Still, revolting though we may find coprophagia (shit eating, for you innocents), what’s the Straight Dope for if not to illuminate the universe’s darker recesses? Herewith a smattering of coprofacts, on the theory that forewarned is forearmed:
Combing further through the journals, we find near-unanimous professional belief that virtually all human coprophages are mentally ill, retarded, or otherwise missing a few teeth off the main sprocket. A 1995 study of a 47-year-old police officer who graduated from fecal smearing to full-scale coprophagia (Wise and Goldberg, Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy) notes, “The case is the first described in a nonpsychotic [but still nutty] adult of normal intelligence.” You might want to advance medical science by having the authors out to the house to meet your brother, although, to avoid reinforcing cruel stereotypes, perhaps you should hide the blond.
