What happens if a werewolf bites a vampire? Or vice versa?
–Steve, Wichita, Kansas
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Science having let us down, we’re obliged to seek insight in legend and art, the latter admittedly somewhat loosely construed, e.g., the work of George Romero. Take the matter of vampires versus werewolves. The literature and films of old rarely mention the two in the same story, although they appear to have much in common. They share some physical traits, such as pointed ears and animal-like appearance. The old Slavonic word volkodlak, which translates roughly as “wolf hair” or “wolf mane,” means “werewolf” in most places but “bloodsucking revenant” (vampire to you) in Serbia. Tradition there has it that when a werewolf dies it rises again as a vampire, and that eating the flesh of a sheep killed by a wolf meant turning into a vampire after death. Finally, we know that vampires can take the form of a wolf and summon wolves to do their bidding.
Next, nutrition. We know vampires drink a lot of blood–they’re often described as engorged with it after feeding. But how much do they really need? Assume a six-foot, 170-pound male vampire has a base metabolic rate of 1,800 calories per day. He sleeps two-thirds of said day but must adopt an active lifestyle by night in pursuit of hemoglobin, so add 2,400 calories. The energy required to turn into a bat, wolf, mist, etc, hasn’t been clinically established but, judging from sparing use of the trick in Bram Stoker’s book, must be substantial–say, 2,000 calories nightly, for a total daily requirement of 6,200 calories. A unit of blood (450 milliliters) contains about 600 calories; individuals typically hold 4,000 to 6,000 milliliters, giving us a potential of 5,333 to 8,000 calories per victim. A methodical vampire, then, could easily get by with one well-drained victim per night. Indeed, given the number of people nowadays who look like they’d be happy to socialize with the Dracula crowd, it’s surprising you don’t see more vampires with a weight problem.
