I’m a relatively inexperienced 26-year-old young lady. I have basically spent the last four years celibate, in a dead-end relationship that I’m finally out of. Recently, I met a much older man, 41, who is extremely experienced and has had a history of being totally freaky (golden showers, porn, etc). He’s got a pretty healthy sexual appetite, and I’m having fun trying to match it. (Gotta make up for those four years.) We’re talking about moving in together, and he’s assured me that he’s still freaky but ready to settle down and commit.
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I could go all Cosmo on your ass, WBGNM, and throw down a list of 101 Sex Tricks That Will Drive Your Man Wild! But I don’t think those lists are particularly helpful. For instance, I remember reading one of those Cosmo lists, and recommendation #67 went like this: “When you’re out on a hike with your man, slip a small, smooth stone into your pocket when he’s not looking. Then when you’re making love in an open field, retrieve the stone and gently press the small, smooth stone into the sensitive spot between his testicles and his anus. Guaranteed to drive him wild!” Guaranteed to drive him off is more like it. Can you imagine what would transpire if someone actually used this trick?
Her: Oh, baby. [She retrieves the stone from her pocket.]
Him: Why the fuck would you do that?! If I ever want a rock pressed into the sensitive spot between my testicles and my anus, I’ll let you know, OK? Christ!
–Can’t Reasonably Explain Extreme Perversion
I’m not going to ask you the usual straight-girl question–I don’t think my current and ex are secretly gay. My current and I still have regular sex, and the only time my ex and current touch each other is when they bump heads on the way to my tits or when my ex is tying my current up. I do worry, however, that I’ve created a monster. My ex is my ex for a reason. I broke things off with him because, while he’s nice to look at, I don’t enjoy spending time with him. Now to please my current I’m having sex with my ex all the time.
