I generally don’t agree with the advice you give, but I need help and I can’t talk to my friends.
About two months ago I broke off a relationship with a guy I had been seeing for about seven years. I’m only 24 years old, and I needed to explore other fish in the sea. I immediately hooked up with this Russian guy I had been crushing on for some time. It turned out he spoke little English, but he treated me amazing. We slept together and he stared deeply into my eyes–I was totally head over heels. He seemed just perfect in so many ways, except he lied to me about two things: his age and his use of hard drugs. A little exaggeration about age is fine, I guess, but I was distressed by how much time he spent messed up on cocaine, K, and E.
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I went to a friend’s Christmas party and brought him. I tried to kiss him, but he told me he was too high. I felt rejected. Later we were supposed to meet up in the evening after not seeing each other for a week. When I phoned he told me that he was too stoned to leave his house. I felt awful again. I dumped him over the phone. The next day he came over with a friend who could translate for him. He was clearly high. I told him if he didn’t use drugs so much we could go out again. Two days later I went to his house to talk to him. He tried to give me a Christmas present, but I couldn’t accept it because he said he didn’t want to talk about us. I sat there dazed and finally left without saying good-bye.
On to my shitty-ass advice: I don’t know what’s going on in his head–and, judging from his drug use, he may not know either. But clearly he enjoys drugs a whole hell of a lot more than he enjoys you. (And considering your people skills, who could blame him?) Does that deny you closure? No, HH, it doesn’t. He’s giving it to you–hell, he’s fucking slamming you closed.
In the January 5 issue of the Economist there is a subtle reference to santorum–yes, santorum in the Savage Love sense.
“The fall of Rick Santorum, Pennsylvania’s junior senator, is even more eagerly anticipated by the American left. Mr. Santorum is one of America’s most articulate opponents of all things permissive. His six children are homeschooled; he opposes stem-cell research; he feels that sodomy should be outlawed; he favors national service. James Dobson, the head of Focus on the Family, an evangelical group, praises his ‘integrity, vision, and unwavering commitment to the principles and beliefs upon which the United States was founded.’ Meanwhile, gay activists use his name to denote something indescribable in a family newspaper.”
