Visiting my home state, I went to a favorite store where folks buy porn, buy sex toys, or sit in “private” booths and watch XXX videos. It’s always crawling with gay men such as myself, looking for sex. In the parking lot I ran into my stepfather of 12 years, a man who married my mother long after I left home. (I’m 47.) I was stunned. He said he’d been in there to get a magazine for a friend. In my amazement I didn’t have much to say, which is rare. I’ve thought of several ways to handle this, but I’m wondering what you would do. –Too Small a World
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Option 1: Take comfort in the likelihood that your mom and stepfather aren’t having sex anymore. While some older couples fuck like rabbits, many stop having sex and stay together for the companionship, conversation, and comfort of an established LTR. In some happy instances, both husband and wife lose interest in sex around about the same time. But frequently, TSAW, only one person loses interest. (And, no, it’s not always the wife.) These mismatched husbands and wives often come to an unspoken understanding: The spouse who wants sex doesn’t make demands on the one who doesn’t in exchange for the one who doesn’t want sex turning a blind eye to the other spouse’s itch-scratching porn collection, piece on the side, or occasional visit to a jack shack. For all you know, this is the state of your mother and stepfather’s relationship.
Option 2: Have a short, awkward, mutually humiliating conversation with your stepfather: “I know what you were doing in that arcade–I’m gay, dear ol’ stepdad, not retarded. Carry on however you like, but if you injure my mother’s health I’ll cut you into a million pieces.”
I can’t explain it, MWM, but I can hope the Partnership for a Drug-Free America uses your story in one of its ad campaigns. I, for one, would much rather watch a dramatic reenactment of the ecstasy-fueled orgy you described, MWM, than yet another ad about the imaginary horrors of pot. (Hey, Partnership for a Drug-Free America: If you want to get the attention of young adults, a short film about seven college-age kids who take ecstasy and wind up in a heap fucking each other in every possible position and gender combination would be a lot more effective than that awful one about how pot causes date rape. Suggested cast: Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, and Avril Lavigne as the girl who pressures everyone into trying ecstasy, plus Aaron Carter, Tom Welling, and pro snowboarder/skateboarder Sean White as Mistakes Were Made. If you need help scripting this epic, you have my e-mail address.)
