When I was young, I naively assumed that since male orgasm was accompanied by ejaculation, female orgasm must be too. When I finally asked a friend about “girl come,” I was corrected. So for years I ignored talk of female ejaculation, just as I ignore talk of bigfoot sightings. But now I’ve found myself wondering if this particular bigfoot really does exist. There are so many references to women who ejaculate that it seems like there must be some truth to it all. And, as a woman who has difficulty having a truly satisfying orgasm, I’ve started wondering if maybe I’m holding myself back. Sometimes I’ll start to feel something similar to a full bladder when I’m very aroused, and I’m always terrified I’m going to wet the bed. So what is truth and what is fiction? And if some women do ejaculate, what is the liquid and where is it coming from? I know this isn’t exactly your area of expertise, and I’m sorry that I didn’t give you a question where you can imagine Ashton Kutcher in my place, but you have access to sexperts, and I’m way too embarrassed about this to ask my family doctor.
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First off, HBII, I am sooooo over Ashton Kutcher. Not only did I blow off Cheaper by the Dozen and miss the whole last season of Punk’d, but the rumored-to-be-hot male-on-male prison rape scene in Ashton Kutcher’s latest flick, The Butterfly Effect, couldn’t even tempt me into the theater.
“Female ejaculate, like male ejaculate, is prostatic fluid, mixed with some glucose and trace amounts of urine, minus the sperm,” says Deborah Sundahl, coauthor of Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot: Not Your Mother’s Orgasm Book! (Hunter House). “The G-spot is the female prostate, and all women have a prostate, just as all men do. When stimulated, its glands create ejaculate fluid. It is clear fluid, rather than milky white like male ejaculate.”
And thank God for your boyfriend, TU, because he sounds like a total mensch. “You don’t have to worry about your boyfriend being offended by your explorations,” says Sundahl–unlike some women out there whose boyfriends run screaming at the sight of girl come. “But once a woman’s male partner understands her exuberation is female come and not loss of bladder control,” says Sundahl, “he usually relishes this ever so feminine, wet and wild orgiastic response.”
Before anyone writes in to accuse me of being a misogynistic, gynephobic, woman-hatin’ big gay cocksucker, I’d like to note this in my defense: I just calmly and coolly entertained two questions about female ejaculation without cracking a single joke at the expense of female anatomy. So I hope the Ms. magazine subscribers out there will forgive me for this: Oh my god! Eesh! Yuck! Before FARTS’s letter arrived I had never, ever contemplated the precise path a woman’s gas takes as it makes its way from butthole to the ozone layer–and, to be frank, it’s not something I’m particularly pleased about having to contemplate now, FARTS. I mean, I get paid a lot to do this job, but I don’t get paid that much.
