QI’m a single gay male in my late 20s. I’ve met a guy I really like. We chat all the time and we’re attracted to each other. We haven’t yet been sexually active with each other, but we’re planning to get naked and sweaty (and break out the ropes and blindfolds) over Christmas break. Why do we have a date “scheduled” for the sex? Well, because he lives six hours away and that’s when he’s next coming to visit.
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So here’s my question, Dan. Is it fair to him to warn him that I might feel a little nervous having sex with him despite the fact that he’s smokin’ hot and we really want to fuck each other’s brains out? I feel like HIV isn’t supposed to be a “deal breaker,” and he’s got it and can’t change that fact, and I’d feel guilty putting another burden on him in the form of my own insecurities about it. What should I do? —Neg Kinkster in the Heartland
Presumably you’re aware of this guy’s HIV status in advance of his visit because he had the decency and the courage to disclose his HIV status to you. The decent and courageous thing for you to do now, NKITH, is to disclose your nervousness to him. Before you break out the ropes and condoms, he needs to acknowledge the risks you’re taking when you sleep with him and do all he can to minimize those risks.
AThere’s only one thing I know of that can permanently shrink a man’s dick, COCK, and that’s a course of female hormones in advance of sex-reassignment surgery. Those ‘mones will shrink a soon-to-be ex-man’s/never-was-a man’s junk, destroy his sex drive, make it difficult for him to maintain erections, and cause his balls and prostate to waste away. So… uh… gee. It may not just be sex that your husband intends to leave behind, COCK, but his sex. Or, hey, it could be something else. But when someone’s being evasive and distant—emotionally, physically, and geographically—it’s usually something big.
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