QDan! I can’t believe you wrote that response to Hawt and Royally Depressed! He wrote because his wife of ten years had “let herself go.” Men and women were hitting on him and he had to resort to stoning before he could be with her. And you told this asshole to “be honest with her.” Your version of “honest” was the verbal equivalent of hitting her with a sledgehammer! If what HARD says is true, it sounds like his wife is depressed or has health issues. HARD may have gotten his physical body into shape, but emotionally he is an out-of-shape, immature mess! —Distressed & Disgusted
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Readers—mostly female readers—were outraged: before breaking up, before cheating, before drinking heavily, couldn’t SAS try being honest? Why didn’t I tell SAS to tell his boyfriend that the weight was a turnoff and that he was seriously thinking about ending the relationship if he didn’t lose those extra pounds? By not recommending a little honesty first—by pushing a breakup instead of a little heart-to-heart—I had revealed myself to be a cynical and heartless faggot.
And guess what? It turns out that honesty—at least when we’re talking about a woman’s fat ass—isn’t the best policy after all. Honesty about a partner’s premature and avoidable physical deterioration is only fit for faggots, it seems. So what should HARD tell his wife? My outraged readers weigh in:
Each and every one of us fatties soon learns that this is code for “I think you’re ugly and disgusting but I’m not allowed to say that so I’ll just pretend I’m concerned for you.” All kinds of people—distant aunts, strangers on the subway, siblings’ one-night-stands—who don’t bat an eyelash at your smoking like a fish or drinking like a chimney are suddenly so concerned about your well-being. Which is why most of us fatties react very badly to anyone bringing it up. Honesty is good, but “bringing up the health thing” is not really helping since a fat person equates it with dishonesty. —You’re No Health Guru
Gotcha, PG—love and support, no criticism or judgment, no offers to exercise together, no healthy food plan, and no griping if nothing changes. Righto.
