I have a sexual interest in the sounds of men using the toilet. There are several restaurants close to my home, and I hide a wireless telephone headset in an inconspicuous place in the bathroom. I can then record, from my home, the sounds of men farting and defecating. My husband is aware of this and tolerates it, but he believes that this is unacceptable behavior, as it infringes on the privacy of others. I believe that no harm is done.
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Your question could stump a modern Solomon, PHART. No man using a public restroom with multiple stalls expects that his farts go unheard. Still, in many places it’s illegal to make an audio recording of someone without his knowledge, though those laws are usually about recording conversations, not flatulence or splatulence. And even if the tapes were to fall into the wrong hands–a local TV news team, Howard Stern, the terrorists–no one would be able to identify an individual based on his farts alone.
So I’m tempted to say no harm, no foul–until I contemplate walking into one of your wired restrooms myself. Since I wouldn’t want to be taped under those circumstances, I can’t with a clear conscience encourage you to tape other men. Just because someone doesn’t know that he’s been violated, PHART, doesn’t mean you haven’t violated him. A man in a public restroom can’t reasonably expect total privacy, but he can expect a certain degree of privacy. So sorry, PHART, but you’re going to have to hand over the recording equipment.
So my bottle idea is out–did my piss-freak friend have any other suggestions?
In the meantime, is it permissible for fags to have opinions about other movies currently playing? Like, say, Grandma’s Boy? According to an Associated Press story headlined “Mrs. Partridge in Sex Romp in New Movie,” Shirley Jones and some other old broads “find a jar left in the kitchen by a previous tenant. The contents look like tea, so they heat up a brew. What they’re actually sipping is hashish. That’s when things get wild with a group of fun-loving young men.”
