I was in a relationship in high school with a girl from the time we were 14 until we were 16. During that time we made a lot of sex tapes together. We both enjoyed watching them. We’ve remained friends, and she kept some of the tapes and I kept some, only for our private viewing.
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What’s more, thanks to Paris Hilton, Colin Farrell, the ugly dude from Limp Bizkit, the even uglier Kid Rock, and the Christian rocker/eager cocksuckee from Creed, young people view making porn tapes as mildly kinky fun and/or a good career move. And why shouldn’t they? On the kink-o-meter a little homemade porn hardly registers, and a public figure hasn’t been damaged by the discovery of a porn tape since Rob Lowe proved that a straight guy can get laid at a Democratic National Convention. So long as horny teenagers keep their tapes to themselves and avoid Web predators, no harm done, I say.
But unfortunately for all those horny 14-year-olds, the FBI doesn’t think their homemade porn is harmless. “What it comes down to is this,” said Laura Eimiller, spokesperson for the Los Angeles office of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. “The production of child porn–and a child is defined as any person under the age of 18–is illegal. The age of the individual filming it is irrelevant. Whether it was consensual is irrelevant. It is still child porn.” And if the children in the porn made the porn? And if they weren’t sharing it with anyone else? “If a complaint came to our attention about pornography that featured an individual who was a child at the time the pornography was created, it would certainly be investigated,” says Eimiller. “Parents, when they’re allowing children to have these types of media, should explain to them what the law is, and what’s acceptable and what’s not acceptable.”
I have written three times before! I really, really need to know about anal sex and hemorrhoids. I am very interested in trying anal sex and I have a willing partner, but I’m embarrassed! I’ve had babies, and it did a number on my ass. I have scar tissue from the surgery after, and I need to know if it’s going to be a huge turnoff. My doctor says that physically I’m OK to have anal sex, but I’m self-conscious. Please advise! –Shy at Forty
Sorry, TOS, but I’m not buying it. Someone who dates sluts exclusively–and I’m using slut in the sex-positive sense (hey, I married one)–can’t claim that he doesn’t like them. That is, you can claim you don’t, but no one’s going to believe you–clearly the single good girls you’ve met aren’t buying it. So it’s not tips you lack, TOS, but the ability to be honest with yourself. Why do you date sluts? Perhaps you want to feel superior to the girls you condescend to date. Or maybe dating sluts allows you to avoid real intimacy. Or maybe, just maybe, deep down inside, in your heart of hearts, TOS, you’re a big fat slut too.
