I’ve been in a relationship with a wonderful man for four months. He treats me better than anyone I’ve ever been with. (I’m 29.) The problem? I’m very adventurous sexually. I’m a freaky girl. I like to be spanked, choked, fisted, and I’m into anal sex. He’s a straitlaced officer in the armed forces, and while the sex we have is great, he refuses to indulge me in even one of the previously mentioned activities. As a result, in the past month or so I’ve had three flings with other men in order to get those needs met. I care deeply for him and hate the fact that I’m cheating, but I feel he’s letting me down as far as the give-and-take goes. I’ve made my desires known to him repeatedly. He told me not to ask anymore because the answer will always be no. My question is, Should I try and subtly clue him in to the fact that he’s driving me to other men with his hang-ups? Is there a solution to this that doesn’t involve infidelity? –Woman in Trouble Loves Earnest Straight Soldier
Best of Chicago voting is live now. Vote for your favorites »
You no doubt brought this problem to me, WITLESS, because you expected I would sympathize with you. My feelings about monogamy are well-known (I’m not a fan), and if there’s a more choke, spank, fist, and buttfuck-positive advice columnist out there I’d like to meet, choke, spank, fist, and fuck him. I’ve also urged people who refuse to indulge their partners’ kinks to either give ’em permission to explore their kinks with others or reconcile themselves to being cheated on.
If that doesn’t move him, WITLESS, then an ethical kinkster would say this to her wonderful man: “Look, sweetheart. If you’re not going to indulge me, you’re going to need to give me permission to do this stuff with other guys or we’re going to need to break up so I can find a wonderful guy who isn’t so sexually repressed. Pick one.”
Dump her, BLOW. Sucking cock can no longer be regarded as some sort of above-and-beyond-the-call indulgence. Blow jobs are standard, and any make or model that doesn’t come with them should be immediately returned to the showroom.
“Dear God, deliver me from Texas.”
