I’m a 25-year-old bi female with a bi male partner the same age. My boyfriend likes stuff up his butt–really likes it. Not being someone who enjoys anal myself, I’m continually shocked by his ability and willingness to, uh, take on new challenges in this department. After a few months of playing with plugs and vibrators, I asked him if he would be up for pegging. He responded enthusiastically, so I ran out and bought a strap-on harness and a silicone cock.
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But first, a few words about pegging–aka strap-on sex–for recent high school graduates and other new readers of this column. Once upon a time, women were doing guys in their asses with strap-on dildos and it was good. But when a guy wanted to ask for it, or a girl wanted to propose it, they had to say, “Hey, would you be willing to do me/would you let me do you in the ass with a strap-on dildo?” Annoyed by this mouthful, a Savage Love reader suggested that I harness the collective wisdom of my readers and come up with a name for girls fucking guys’ butts, and pegging won. It’s crisp, clean, and easily conjugated: he asked her to peg him; she loves pegging him; they pegged all night long.
However, while my readers named the act, they didn’t invent it. “Pegging started showing up in porn circa 1970 and became an increasingly popular sex act for straight kids once strap-on harnesses became commercially available in the 1990s,” says Violet. “As I explain in my book, strap-on sex was so misunderstood by mainstream porn producers that indie-porn companies made films like Bend Over Boyfriend,” which walked couples through the mechanics of pegging, while at the same time demonstrating just how hot it could be.
“In my book, I go on for miles about how pegging doesn’t in any way make, or create, homosexuality,” says Violet. “But POOTH’s concerns about being left out are real, regardless of what her boyfriend is trying to figure out.”
“Pegging in most porn is festooned with stereotypes of shame and pain, like most sex in mainstream porn,” says Violet. “And unfortunately, these stereotypes have seeped into online sex culture.
