I’m a female in my 20s and will soon be marrying my boyfriend of four years. We met overseas via a personals site, and while most things are great between us, we do have one issue: group sex. He wants it, I don’t.
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Part of the issue is that while he did experiment with a couple of guys and girls before we met, I was (and am) his first and only penetrative sex partner. He also spends a lot of time online, which has led him to believe that many people have group sex and that it is a relatively normal thing to do. At the time we met, I was portraying (and thinking of) myself as a wild bisexual, but I’ve since proved myself to be anything but. I feel bad about “false advertising,” but I feel I’ve grown up and out of the need to explore my sexuality. I’ve found someone with whom I am completely happy and by whom I am completely sexually satisfied.
First off, WTWGS, the online popularity of a particular sex act or fetish is irrelevant where an individual’s kinks are concerned. It’s not as if people sit at home in front of their computers and wait for a kink to win a national popularity contest before they adopt it. (“Hey, honey! Infantilism won America’s Next Top Fetish! Break out the Pampers!”) So let’s be clear: your fiance sought out group sex on the Internet because he was into group sex, WTWGS, rather than developing a thing for group sex after seeing how popular it was online.
In other words, HAC, it’s over. Your girlfriend doesn’t have the decency to end it honestly, but you can have the self-respect to end it yourself.