Am I out of bounds if I try to have a dialogue with my nephew about masturbation? He’s 17 and I’m 52, a balanced bisexual male in a good marriage. I masturbate a lot and sometimes enjoy pornography. I have fun, easy orgasms.
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Are your motives pure, UNCLE? Your “previous frank discussions with other nephews” got you into trouble, which probably means either that you’re a creepy old fart who gets off on talking about sex with his nephews–and your relatives know it–or that you come across that way when you talk to your nephews about sex. You need to look inside your heart, UNCLE, and ask yourself if you want a dialogue with your nephew about masturbation because he needs a trustworthy, responsible adult to confide in or if you want a dialogue with him because it makes your dick hard.
That would have been more honest–still fucked-up, for sure, still full of crap, yes indeed, but honest. At 10 and 13 your nephews probably know about gay people, and they’re old enough to know they’re related to one. You shouldn’t have to be closeted around them, serious boyfriend or no serious boyfriend.
The first thing you need to do is expand your definition of butt sex, RFHP. Actual penis-pounding-away-at-butt sex, aka butt fucking, is varsity-level sex, and clearly you’re not ready for that squad. But there are plenty of junior-varsity options for your butt–and for his too–that can help you work your way up. I’m talking gentle, external stroking with lubed-up fingers, lots of licking, vibrators placed on your butthole (that’s on, or across, not in). If you incorporate these gentler anal pleasures into your regular routine, RFHP, pretty soon you’ll be having mind-blowing orgasms while your boyfriend rims you or holds a vibrator against your ass as he fucks you senseless. In time you’ll begin to associate your butt with pleasure, and Uncle Fucker’s grip on your ass will loosen. Only then should you go out for the varsity team.
