I am a 15-year-old boy who’s never had a girlfriend, and I wanted to ask you personally, How do you get girls? Like the best way to get them, so they think I’m interesting. I await your orders. –Teenager Going to Waste
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But don’t despair, TGTW: your awkward/repulsive stage will pass. In the meantime, worry less about getting your 15-year-old self laid and start thinking about getting your 18- or 20-year-old self laid. Join a gym and get yourself a body that girls will find irresistible; read so that you’ll have something to say to them (the best way to make girls think you’re interesting is to actually be interesting), and get out of the house and do shit–political shit, sporty shit, arty shit–so that you’ll meet different kinds of girls in different kinds of settings and become comfortable talking with them.
Some more orders: get a decent haircut, use deodorant, floss your teeth, take regular showers, and wear clean clothes. Go online and read all about birth control and STDs, and learn enough about female anatomy that you’ll be able to find a clitoris in the dark. Masturbate in moderation–no more than ten times a day–and vary your masturbatory routine. I can’t emphasize this last point enough. A vagina does not feel like a clenched fist, TGTW, nor does a mouth, an anus, tit fucking, or dry humping. If you don’t want to be sending me another pathetic letter in five years complaining about your inability to come unless you’re beating your own meat, TGTW, vary your routine now so that you’ll be able to respond to different kinds of sexual stimulation once you do start getting the girls. Good luck, kiddo.
I met this guy on a gay chat line. I’m 21 and he’s 42, a big, hairy daddy type. I’ve had a daddy fetish forever but have never acted on it. He’s sweet on the phone, and we have explosive phone sex, but my friends would be weirded out by this. Should I meet him? Can affairs with such a large age gap work out? –Desires Affectionate Daddy
The good news: if you meet this boy and he’s into you, III, then you’re in his league. That’s because each and every one of us gets to decide who plays in our own personal league. If he invites you to play, you’re in.
