I’m a high school girl with big problems. All my life I’ve worn boy clothes and had male friends, mainly because I’m into “male” things like video games and geek stuff. As high school approached, Mother Nature flipped me off with DD breasts and hips that would make Shakira jealous.
Spear says there are three things that all transgender people need. “First, feeling loved, accepted, and understood,” says Spear. “Second, getting adequate support for exploration of gender experience, identity, and expression. And third, having access to good, transgender-competent medical information and care.”
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As for surgery, Spear agrees that it’s too early. “But it’s a great time for TT to start exploring his identity with someone who isn’t personally invested in TT’s choices,” says Spear. “Therapists specializing in gender frequently offer phone sessions so trans and gender-queer people who live outside of larger cities can access gender-competent services.” Therapy can be expensive, “but even a few sessions could offer some emotional backup and tools for coping with confused or threatened family and friends.
Recently, I had the chance to reconnect with a friend from high school. After one too many drinks, she confided in me about her sexual habits, telling me she likes “soiling.” I stupidly asked what it was. The answer was probably the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard: “You get some poo, and then you rub it on each other’s skin.” Apart from this shocking admission, she is a really nice girl. She is Christian and works in a caring profession. To look at her, you would never guess. But I don’t want to see her again because I am grossed out by the mental image she gave me. My question is: Is it fair to end a friendship over someone’s sexual practices? –Shocked Over Soiling
