Holy cow, Dan! What a mean response! I totally disagree that there’s a direct parallel between mugging old ladies and having unsafe sex with a positive HIV diagnosis. The old ladies have no way to protect themselves, whereas every single partner that sleeps with an HIV-er has the choice of using a condom. I work at an HIV service agency, and we deal with the issue of disclosure all the time–it’s one of the hardest things for sexually active gay men, especially those that feel validated by sex, to handle. Placing all the blame for the spread of HIV on the people who are already infected is stupid–for many of them, it’s incredibly psychologically damaging to live with both the social pressure of being gay and being seen as a walking infection. Should they expose other people to the virus? Of course not. But it takes two to tango.
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For the love of God, Doctor Nitwit, go into some other line of work! HIV service agencies are overrun with idiots who agree with you, and you’re all making the AIDS epidemic incalculably worse. When confronted with a man who’s running around indiscriminately infecting other men with HIV, your first impulse is to start spitting out excuses. We should have compassion! Disclosure is difficult! Let’s educate the poor little darling–not about his responsibility to his sex partners, heavens no! Let’s educate him about the risks he’s exposing himself to! What about compassion for the men he’s infecting? What about his responsibility not to spread HIV?
Yes, it takes two to tango. That’s why on my drug-support-payment plan the malicious and/or negligent infector would only be on the hook for 50 percent of the cost of the drugs the person he infected would need to stay alive.
I was heartened by your letter, WUP, until I got to your PS. What does it tell us about HIV and public health agencies that your opinions are so controversial that you can’t have your name run with your letter? Nothing good.
Thanks for sharing, Tim D. and Todd. We’ll have more on this subject next week–including whether or not it would be possible to establish an HIV “paternity”–but in an online special only, not in the print version of Savage Love.
