I’m a straight guy, 17 and a half. I have a Catholic Christian girlfriend, and we’ve been going out for more than four months now. She’s still a virgin. I’ve been patient and have been waiting for her to be OK with the idea of sex through the whole relationship, but there’s been almost no advancement. I’ve tried to make sure that I’m not pressuring her into anything, but after being at a sexual stalemate for months it’s starting to get a little old. Should I just keep waiting? Am I expecting too much? Please help. –Clever Acronym
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On to your “Catholic Christian” girlfriend: It’s too bad there aren’t any Catholic Zoroastrians where you live–those bitches really put out! But Catholic Christian girls are made of more virtuous stuff, and if this one has managed to resist your charms for four long months, nothing I write here will inspire her to lose her virginity to you. I’m sorry, CA, but this sounds like a lost cause. Unless . . .
Straight Rights Update: I’ve been running around with my hair on fire trying to convince my straight readers that religious conservatives don’t just hate homos. After raising the alarm for months back here in the sex ads section, I was intensely gratified to read Russell Shorto’s brilliant cover story, “The War on Contraception,” in the May 7 New York Times Magazine. Maybe readers who think I’m being hysterical will believe Shorto when he lays out the American Taliban’s plan to deny access to birth control–any and all types, folks, not just emergency contraception. “In particular, and not to put too fine a point on it, they want to change the way Americans have sex,” Shorto writes. “Contraception, by [their] logic, encourages sexual promiscuity, sexual deviance (like homosexuality), and a preoccupation with sex that is unhealthful even within marriage.” Shorto quotes Judie Brown, president of the American Life League: “We see a direct connection between the practice of contraception and the practice of abortion. The mind-set that invites a couple to use contraception is an antichild mind-set. So when a baby is conceived accidentally, the couple already have this negative attitude toward the child. Therefore seeking an abortion is a natural outcome. We oppose all forms of contraception.” And there’s this from R. Albert Mohler Jr., president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary: “I cannot imagine any development in human history, after the Fall, that has had a greater impact on human beings than the pill. . . . Prior to it, every time a couple had sex, there was a good chance of pregnancy. Once that is removed, the entire horizon of the sexual act changes. I think there could be no question that the pill gave incredible license to everything from adultery and affairs to premarital sex and within marriage to a separation of the sex act and procreation.”
