I’m a married guy with a good job and a wonderful kid, and my wife’s a good lady. The problem? Sex. She rarely wants/needs it, and when I can get her in the mood it’s the same old dull routine. Same position, I do all the work–she won’t even touch my dick!–and it’s over in 15 minutes.
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I don’t want my child hating me forever, but I also want to be happy. What should I do? –Wondering if Love/Lust Is Enough
It needs to be said that depriving a spouse of sex–or subjecting them to absolutely joyless sex in the hope that they’ll stop asking for any at all–is an act of emotional violence that not only creates frustration, anger, and desperation but inevitably leads to infidelity, which all too often leads to divorce, broken homes, and traumatized children. And who gets the blame? The spouse who cheated, of course! So to all those folks out there who aren’t interested in sex: Getting married–or civilly united or shacking up or whatever–is like buying a cow. You know going in that you’re going to have to milk the thing. But unlike an unmilked cow, a spouse–male or female–won’t just stand there in a field and suffer. A spouse is a cow with a credit card, a job, and a car. If you don’t milk the cow you married, your cow has the means to go out and find someone who will. If you’re fine with that, for God’s sake tell your cow. If you lose interest in sex but want to stay married for the kids, friendship, or financial security, apologize to your cow and tell ’em you’ll do them the courtesy of turning a blind eye if they’ll do you the courtesy of being milked discreetly elsewhere.
I’m a gay 22-year-old male. My boyfriend is 24, and seems to have the lowest sex drive ever. He never initiates, and he pushes me away three out of the four times I do. It’s gotten to the point that I don’t initiate anymore. He’s a great guy–sweet and perfect for me in every way except this. Cheating is not an option I would consider. However, I’m sex starved over here! –Boy Once Needed Erotics Daily
