I have been with my husband for four and a half years. I am currently very frustrated. My husband cannot maintain an erection while performing oral sex on me. He manually stimulates himself while giving me oral sex. I feel rejected, because shouldn’t the act of giving pleasure to someone you love and find attractive be pleasurable for you as well?
OK, here we go: Do you have any idea how many women would kill to be in your position? Do you have any idea how many letters I get every damn day from women whose husbands won’t eat them out at all, ever, stroking themselves or not, much less every time they have sex? And there you sit, with a husband who offers to eat your pussy every time you have sex, and you’re complaining about the fact that he likes to stroke himself while he eats you out? Are you out of your fucking mind?!
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Finally, on the subject of your husband’s fetishes: you can choose to resent his fetishes and complain about them, thereby making him regard you as an obstacle to his sexual fulfillment, FMBC, and not the source of his sexual fulfillment–a move that will drive a wedge into your sex life and potentially destroy your marriage. Or you can choose to turn his fetishes to your advantage, shit-fer-brains! If you want him to stay hard without touching himself while he eats your pussy, then plant one of your fucking feet in his crotch while he goes down on you. Better yet, put on a pair of high heels the next time he offers to go down on you and grind your heels into his balls and dick while he eats you out. I guarantee you his dick will stay hard the whole time.
Reading between the lines of SPISL’s letter, it seems clear that his wife wasn’t comfortable pissing on him–he’s never had a golden shower–but he was open with her about his kink, and eventually they found a mutually agreeable way to indulge him: SPISL gets to lick his wife clean after she takes a piss, which turns SPISL on like crazy and led to his discovery about Sweet’N Low. (The results of SPISL’s experiments have yet to be verified, but we’re working on it here at Savage Labs. I’ll give a full report when my intern returns from his holiday break and drinks the cup of piss I left on his desk.) While some may find the activity that SPISL and his wife are engaging in off-putting, surely everyone reading this can appreciate the uplifting moral to the story. Which is this: there are tons of happily married, sexually fulfilled couples out there. If that’s the kind of relationship you want, don’t settle for a partner who isn’t good, giving, and game, and be a good, giving, and game partner yourself.
