Here’s my wah-wah: I’m 20, gay, and my boyfriend of eight months is into tying me up. I work out a lot and have pretty decent muscles, and something about tying me up makes him extra horny, which is a turn-on for me too. I’m wondering if I have anything to be worried about–not necessarily psycho killer worried, but, well, is this gonna warp me somehow? Why is it so much fun? My main problem is that when my boyfriend has me tied up I can’t touch him! And what about pictures? He takes lots of them, and I’m wondering if I should put a stop to that. What if they show up online when I’m running for president? –Fit to Be Tied
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Thankfully, FTBT, there are tons of career options in addition to bondage-porn model and president of the United States. You could be a lawyer or a banker or a fireman or an advice columnist when you grow up. In our post-Paris Hilton universe, a few bondage pics floating around on the Web are unlikely to hurt your future job prospects as an out gay man. Bondage is the new oral sex–it just isn’t that kinky anymore.
“Objectification” is a word that’s usually tossed around in a negative context; mostly we hear it when someone is complaining about the objectification of women. But being treated like an object when you want to be treated like an object can be intensely sexy. Hell, we all long to be objectified.
The first thing Monk wants you and your girlfriend to bear in mind is that a lot of the bondage in Japanese anime isn’t practical–not even the bondage shown in actual photos of actual tied-up people. “Many of the shots are the sort of thing where they intricately tie a woman up,” says Monk, “hoist her in the air for the few minutes it takes to snap the photo, then immediately bring her down and out of the rope.”
Dan, you hit the nail on the head in your response to the man with a crush on his friend’s wife, especially when you explained why the woman seemed to be sending “I’m into you too” vibes: “Because you’re her husband’s friend and she doesn’t want to embarrass you by telling you that she would rather eat her own shit than fuck your vibin’ ass.” Well put.
