I am a 17-year-old straight girl with a boy problem. I’ve known this guy for three years. A year ago he asked me out but wanted me to keep the whole thing secret. We had the prototypical movie-theater-back-row kissing extravaganzas. Alas, we eventually split. I spent months crying and sulking, openly loathing the prick. Eventually I gave up hating him, and soon afterward we “hooked up,” as the youths call it these days.

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(2) Will anything more come from this? Do I stand any chance at an actual relationship? –Just Another Silly Girl

(1) Yes, absolutely–and I speak from experience. (Hey there, Mike.)

I’m a first-year student at a university in Canada. Everybody is quite accepting of homosexuals like me, so I don’t have to deal with people calling me names and things like that. But discrimination is the least of my worries. My roommate, let’s call him Stephen, has homosexual tendencies, though I’m having doubts that he’s completely gay like me. He’s still in the closet about these tendencies (the only person who knows about them is me), so the rest of the people who live near us only know me to be gay.

Regarding your ITMFA (Impeach the Motherfucker Already) campaign: I usually enjoy your column, but lay off Bush. You hate Bush, most of your readers hate Bush, congratufuckinglations. You liberals are so pathetic. Your guys ran Congress for 50 years and now, having been defeated, you can’t shut up. Why don’t you just concentrate on dicks? –Good Luck in ’06