QI think my five-year-old nephew is probably gay. Most of the reasons are superficial (he says that Zac Efron is really cute), but I also have a hunch. If he is gay, it’s cool by me. The problem is my brother also thinks his son might be gay and he is NOT cool with it. He’s “nice” about it, but he has taken to prohibiting most of the things my nephew loves to do: putting on makeup, watching and dancing along to musicals with vampy women (like Chicago), playing dress-up. My nephew can tell that his dad thinks there is something shameful about his doing these things but asks me in the most heartbreaking way if we can do those things when we’re at my house and not tell his dad.
Answer 2: Your nephew needs an adult in his life who loves him unconditionally and a space where he can express himself without fear. So tell him you love him, promise to keep his secrets, and tell him that his father loves him too and will come around one day. And yes, AM, lie to your brother–lie lots. In the grand scheme of things your lies are a misdemeanor; the emotional violence he’s inflicting on his son is a felony.
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AOnce a cheater, not always a cheater. But once a cheater, likelier to cheat than never-a-cheater. Duh, right?
And it wouldn’t hurt to beat off wearing a condom now and then either, TDG.
The day my column went to print I learned of the death of Adrian Exley, a shamelessly kinky Brit. Exley traveled to Boston to play with Gary LeBlanc, a 48-year-old Gulf Oil exec he met online. Unfortunately for Exley, LeBlanc was a shamelessly stupid perv. He left Exley–wrapped in plastic, bound with duct tape, hooded, with only a straw to breathe through–alone in a closet overnight, where he asphyxiated. LeBlanc took responsibility for Exley’s death in a suicide note and then killed himself. Exley’s mother is suing LeBlanc’s estate, as well as a third man who discovered and helped dispose of the body, for wrongful death.
