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Earlier this month WCAX TV in Burlington, Vermont, reported on Steven Buelow, who was paroled ten years ago after serving time for a rape and murder he committed as a 15-year-old; following incarceration for subsequent minor offenses, he was being held at the state prison at Newport until he could find a residence on the outside. According to officials, Buelow picked at least 15 women out of the Burlington-Middlebury phone book and in July sent them letters introducing himself, describing his appearance and situation, and explaining that he needed a place to stay. One woman told the station, unsurprisingly, that she was “terrified” for her family’s safety and considered moving away; Buelow, following a meeting with his caseworker, agreed to cut it out.

In July officials in Springfield, Vermont, rejected as incomplete an application for a liquor license filed by Paul Murphy, who requested permission to sell alcohol from his home. Even filled out properly the application would have been denied, the liquor control department said, as the address Murphy provided was that of the state prison where he’s currently incarcerated.

New York’s Advisory Committee on Judicial Ethics ruled in July that judges may carry a gun in the courtroom as long as they comply with all applicable gun laws and remain “patient, dignified, and courteous.” (The ruling did, however, advise judges to keep their guns concealed.) And in May Jinsoo Kim filed a lawsuit in Orange County, California, alleging that Stephen Son had signed a contract saying he’d repay $170,000 Kim had invested in his corporation. Son’s lawyer conceded such a contract had been drawn up and signed by his client but disputed its validity; Kim’s lawyer suggested a jury might consider it especially valid considering it was written entirely in blood.

Least Competent Animals

Art accompanying story in printed newspaper (not available in this archive): illustration/Shawn Beslchwender.