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The best policy: At his February sentencing hearing in Bradenton, Florida, Kenneth Holmes, a 26-year-old restaurant manager, explained why he’d installed police-style flashers on the dash of his black Crown Victoria (in which he’d been caught running red lights and passing other cars at 90 miles per hour): “It looked really cool and it was a drastic time-saver,” allowing him to travel “at a high rate of speed.” And according to the Arizona State University student newspaper’s Web site, an 18-year-old male student was arrested in the same month after allegedly pulling down his pants and underwear and masturbating to Internet porn on his laptop at a library on the school’s Tempe campus; reportedly he explained to police, “To be honest, the Internet connection at my dorm isn’t good enough.”
In March antiabortion activist David Little told a court in Fredericton, New Brunswick, that he would need an adjournment of his upcoming trial for tax evasion (he contends that some government money funds abortions and he can’t be forced to contribute) because his wife and his stepdaughter were victims of “demonic oppression” and required exorcism. Asked how long a delay would be necessary, Little wouldn’t specify, saying that while some exorcism cases required only a single session he also knew of one that had been going on for 16 years. The judge denied his request.
According to February reports by the Ledger-Enquirer of Columbus, Georgia, Pastor Robert Upshaw of Greater Grace Baptist Church in Columbus not only operated an unlicensed residence facility for mentally ill adults in a dilapidated former prison camp built in the 1930s (until the city declared it unfit for human habitation and shut it down), he also allegedly hired out some of its residents–at least one of whom reportedly was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and homicidal tendencies–to work security at Auburn, University of Georgia, and Atlanta Falcons football games.
Art accompanying story in printed newspaper (not available in this archive): illustration/Slug Signorino.
