Lead Stories
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“Man Says Tight Jeans Caused Aggravated Assault Charge” (USA Today, December): Sean Duvall, arrested for aiming a gun at a police officer in Belle Vernon, Pennsylvania, said he had a permit for the pistol and would have kept it concealed, as required by law, had it not been impossible to fit it comfortably in his pants. “Men Arrested for Dumping Dirt in a Forest” (Associated Press report filed from Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, November): It’s illegal to unload anything on federal land, even what the alleged perpetrators described as “perfectly good dirt” removed from a garage (prior to pouring a new concrete floor) and spread under a fir tree in Coeur d’Alene National Forest. “Lawmakers Asked to Take Helm, Donate Sperm” (AP report filed from Melbourne, Australia, January): Hoping to relieve a shortage at sperm banks in the state of Victoria, a fertility expert sent a letter soliciting donations from state legislators 45 and younger, appealing to them as role models.
Alcohol Blues
In Vancouver, Washington, in January, Cuitlahvac Renteria-Martinez, 26, was arrested after allegedly jumping into an idling 18-wheeler and taking off. His two major mistakes: (1) not realizing the rig had a global positioning system, making it easy to track, and (2) taking a swig out of what he thought was the driver’s cup of coffee but was actually tobacco spit. When police caught up with Renteria-Martinez he was on the phone with a 911 operator, requesting assistance for choking.
Undignified Deaths
